Straddle Jump

Time keeps marching on and no matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to stop it!!! 

I can still remember when the kids would play on the trampoline at Leah's house in Portsmouth and they restricted their tricks to the "butt bounce" due to personal safety concerns and coordination limitations. Annalise has been working very hard in dance recently to perfect her splits as well as her balance.  This trick shows you how very far she's come!

Lucy's 6th Birthday party, May 18, 2013, Valrico FL with Florida Prepatory School of Ballet (Ms. Yanna) team mates.

Coffee

I am always disappointed in myself for not updating my blog more often because I have so much darn fun when I go back to read it!  Here's another one I dug out.  I wrote this around Christmas, 2010 when John was in Qatar.  I think I had been struck with a case of the "Deployment Blues!"

December, 2010

A friend (a working mom) asked me this weekend, "Why don't you update your blog?" My response was, "I don't know. Honestly, I just don't have time these days." What I got back from her was, "What exactly do you DO during the day?" I felt my self righteousness flare up for a moment and then I realized that I didn't have an answer for her. I answered with a weak and defeated little admission, "I'm not sure..." Funny enough, that made me even madder than her obnoxious, irritating question did in the first place.

That exchange got to me. I was a working Mom, who thought she had it all under control, and then I "retired" this summer. While debating my decision to work or to eat bon bons, I read more articles than you can imagine about "working mom vs. stay at home mom" and I studied the pros/cons of both lifestyles. I felt a sense of pride when I read about how much a working mom does and I gloated when I read what a stay at home mom does because I thought I could do it so much better. I felt like I was in control of this decision and I very happily decided to stay at home with the kids.

As I was going through that life change, I was presented with an unexpected challenge. The simple fact is that it's all well and good until you throw a deployment into the mix! I'm not sure where to start on that one. I used to think I was better somehow. I thought that my positive attitude would get us through this with total grace and beauty. I was sure that other women dealing with deployments would look at me and say, "Wow! I wish I could do this as well as she does. I wonder what her secret is?" When the moods started to overtake me, I'd try the old secrets I had been given and I'd cry in the car, or I would go for a run, or I would take control of something and build a chalkboard wall in my hallway where we could have a countdown and cross off each day as it ended. They're all very good intentions, but the responsibility falls at my feet no matter what tricks I try.

With the somewhat pious question rolling around in my mind, "What do you DO all day?" I took a look at the major changes that have happened to me recently. No job, no husband. Well, crap. That's a bummer. But it's my bummer and I have to own it, learn it, face it and beat it.

To me it all comes down to coffee. When I was working, coffee meant a walk with friends and a time to regroup. Sometimes it was a walk by myself and a few minutes to think. Sometimes it was a chat with friends about a common issue. Today, when I drink a coffee, it means that there is a mess to clean up. My son is the sweetest, most helpful and wonderful child that the world has ever known. Since his dad has been gone, he's stepped up and tried to help wherever he can. He now makes the coffee in the morning and I love him for it. When I smell the coffee grinds floating upstairs from the kitchen, I groan because I know for certain that it's coming. He proudly brings me a cup of the bitter brew for which he's used about 17 times the normal ration of coffee grinds to make, informs me that he's spilled on the stairs, and that he only has a few drops of milk on the counter from when he was making it "just the way I like it."

In my professional life, I was a planner (yes, this is hilarious if you know me on a personal level). I was a Project Planner and then a Financial Planner. I isolated my variables, lived by the critical path, and I knew what had to get done in order for us to meet our deadlines. If there was a risk to our success, I had a plan to mitigate. In my mommy life, I am not good at planning and it drives me crazy! If I think have it under control, the phone will ring or someone will have a "spirit day" emergency at school (this morning I was told as they were getting dressed that they needed to dress in a way that represents another culture...whatever...). There is no plan and there is no set schedule because things constantly change. There is always an emergency that is completely crucial to their survival and I have to stop and fix it. When I think I have the kids under control, I find myself challenged by a massive bag of dog food that has to be carried upstairs while my kids clear the table and drop a glass bowl on the floor and they panic because the dog might try to lick up the broken bits of glass. Someone yells at a sibling and the victim of the abuse goes into hysterics while the aggressor wonders what they did to get in trouble when I come running downstairs trying to protect the child that has been wronged. On my flight downstairs, I see the trail of bitter coffee that I was accosted with this morning and I wonder when I'll have time to get the steam vac out to clean it up. After I've rescued all living beings from the glass on the floor, I mop up the spaghetti sauce and run upstairs to throw the towels in the laundry which is when I discover the clothes in the machine that I put in there this morning to plan for whatever spirit day idiocy I "thought ahead" about this morning. It's pure chaos. It's managing the lives and expectations of a 5 and an 8 year old. It's making sure that the mohawk cream doesn't glop up and make him look like he has dandruff or it's making sure that the tights she has on don't make her feel like a dork because everyone else wears different kinds. It's stuff that won't go down in the record books but it's important here and now.

I'm not sure what I do all day, but it's not nothing. I drink bitter coffee and enjoy the smile on my son's face when I manage to choke it down. I eat army green pancakes because the kids have made them for me and I comb through the lotion in my hair because the kids have given me a "massage" out of gratitude for the things I do for them. It's by no means a glamorous or even productive day today, but I life a very full life and people will finally know it when my children grow up to be productive and responsible members of our society.

Sardines

Annalise - Age 5

I just went through my email to clean out over 4000 messages of mostly JUNK that was bogging me down.  Lucky for me, I found this little gem...

*******************
March 21, 2011
From: Lisa Dolby
To: Lisa Dolby
Subject: You can show me where the sardine one is.

Message: Blank
*******************

...it took me about one second to remember what that one was about.

It was a warm (hot) spring day in Chula Vista and I was spending some time with Annalise while Justin was in school.  She was in Kindergarten, so she must have been on the early release schedule, and we had an hour or so until we had to go back to Salt Creek to pick up Justin who was in third grade.  We were running an errand and Annalise asked me for ice cream.  

I told her that ice cream is a treat, that we can't have it all the time because it's not healthy for us, and that we could only have it on special occasions.  We started talking about ice cream versus sherbert and I told her that I'd be open to the idea of going to the grocery store and bringing home some fruit sorbet.  This did not make her happy!  I remember that she did not throw a tantrum but looked heartbroken and it was so hard not to give in. Parenting is hard on the heart from time to time.

We went over to Vons (grocery store) and she had been thinking about the offer for a little while.  She was still just little enough that I could carry her, which I did often, so I remember that I was dreading how she felt like such a big girl holding on to my hand in the parking lot.  She asked me a few questions about random things and then sighed and told me, "Mommy, I've been thinking and I guess you can show me where the sardine one is."

Huh?

Translated:  She was ready to negotiate and was willing to consider my deal.  She wanted to know what the "sorbet" was all about.  One of our most serious rules is that our kids may not throw a tantrum to get what they want.  If they'll take a breath, calm down, and talk to us about it rationally, we're always willing to listen.  That day in the Vons parking lot, I was so impressed with her willingness to try "sardines" that I hugged her tight, told her I was proud of her for not having a fit even when she wanted to, and she won the negotiation.

We went to Cold Stone and enjoyed a little bit of the good stuff!

Spring Break 2013

  The Battle

Weapons Construction

The Picnic

The Guard Dog

Spring Break has arrived and I'm busy waging the battle against technology!  These kids are tricky!  We have four TV's in the house, one of which is 3D, and it's a race to get them all turned off before someone else finds a remote control.  We had a sleepover last night so I'm outnumbered 4 to 1 today.  I finally got everyone shuttled outside to ride their bikes but, 5 minutes later, someone came home with an injury.  I prescribed a few minutes of rest.  Unfortunately, I did not clarify that it was a non-technology aided rest.  Give me that tablet!  

Once they finally believed I was serious, they gave in and headed outside.  Much to their chagrin, I think they're having more fun than they thought possible.  We've had a war in the pool, a lawn picnic (with an epic tantrum as a side show), I've taught them to use power tools (which are required for authentic musket construction, as the boys say), and the most recent activity is building a "No Boys Allowed" fort in the garage.  The dog has even been allowed to join the fun.  From her leash.  Attached to the mail box.  She's not happy.

Wouldn't you know it, when everything was too quiet for my comfort, I looked over to find contraband...a pink DS had snuck into the fort! 

I happen to be sitting inside playing with technology right now so I better wrap it up.  I hear that I am needed for the completion of the weapon - we've moved on from muskets to automatic weapons and my saw skills are needed for the creation of a magazine.  I can't remember what we did all of those summer days in the backyard, but I can't imagine that I ever had this much imagination!  I'm sure I did...

MUCH LATER:

While I was writing, Justin was loading up his gear.  The fun one can have when forced is shocking!

"OPA COMMANDO STYLE"

Principal's Honor Roll

Report cards came out last week and Annalise did FANTASTIC!!!!  She got straight E's (which are A's when you get to third grade).  She's above level in reading and she is right where she needs to be in everything else.  She made it to Principal's Honor Roll which means she got perfect grades AND her citizenship was excellent.  John and I went to the awards ceremony and my favorite thing to see was that she was no longer "the new kid." It is clear to me that she's made friends, that she has plenty of fun, and that she feels completely comfortable in her new school.

I wrote an entry when she was about 2 years old that was called Angelface/Sassypants.  I think about that one quite often because it still fits her in every way. She's the sweetest little girl I have ever known, but she's clearly never going to be in danger of becoming a wall flower!  Her confidence and creativity amaze me every day and I'm often left wondering if that's really my kid!  One of my favorite quotes recently is about me.  When she says her prayers, she always adds "Thank you for my (insert adjective) Mommy!"  It's my favorite part of the day to see what she comes up with.  The other evening, she thanked God for "this compassionate yet stubborn Mom of mine" and I couldn't help but laugh right out loud!  When I asked what prompted that, she explained that I'm very kind and compassionate, which is good, but that I can be very stubborn when I've set my mind on "No" which she does not like.

Our girl is not only book smart.  She's pretty street smart too!  She's got that going for her, but don't think for a moment that she's perfect because all you need to do is look at her room to see that she's far from that.  She's a bit of a slob...to put it lightly.  We finally got her new room painted and her new bed put in there, which required a heavy dose of shoveling her "stuff" from side to side to make room.  We cleaned the whole room up and told her to keep it that way.  Much to my irritation, it took exactly one day to turn back into a complete disaster and I was at the end of my rope. Yelling was not working so John decided to try and outsmart her.  We got it cleaned up again the way I like it and he told her, "I bet you can't keep your room this clean for three days!" She said, "Bring it on!"  He bet her a dollar that she could not keep it neat (exactly as clean as it started) through that Thursday night.  Well, she won her dollar and John decided to see how far he could take it.  He said, "I'll bet you $2 that you can't keep it that way for a whole week..."  She said, "Nope.  Forget it.  Not worth $2." Her room is again a mess. 

Like I said, the girl is smart!

Superhuman Mom Tricks!

Justin's Top Right First Molar

(Orthodontia Included)

I was sitting at my desk, happily working away, when I heard Justin fall up the stairs.  Yes, up. It's a common issue for him these days since his feet are about 4 sizes bigger than his brain realizes.  I heard him say, "Oh Shoot!" Again, this is nothing out of the ordinary so I kept working and didn't acknowledge him.   

"Mom?"

sigh..."Ugh"..."What is it now?"..."I am WORKING..."

"I lost a tooth!"

I guess I'm going to have to deal with this one.

No big deal.  He's 10 and it's a molar so we're right on track.  The issue is that he has braces, the tooth has a bracket on it, we're "new" in town (translated: I have not gotten around to finding an orthodontist yet), and it's a Holiday Week.  My question is, "Exactly WHO is going to get the tooth out of his mouth that is currently hanging from his wire?"

Google to the rescue!

I called the first place on my trusty Google List, but nobody answered.  At the next place, I got a message saying they're at lunch.  On the third call, the message says they're on vacation but I can dial 9 for "true dental emergencies only!"  I'm not a patient, I wonder how much they will appreciate my particular emergency?  I dialed a fourth office and happened to get a very kind Floridian working in the lab who tells me that the doctor is on vacation. The answer is becoming very clear to me. 

I broke the news to Justin.  I was doing the surgery.  He laughed! I laughed!  Here we go!

We put Justin on the couch, he bit down so that the tooth would stop dangling from the wire and grossing me out, and I went to work with the big guns!  Who needs dental tools?  We accomplished the job with a set of tweezers, a paper clip, and a pair of cuticle scissors.  To his credit, Justin was extremely brave as I came at him with my implements while squirming childishly at the disgusting tooth.  He laughed, made a joke about being in a psychologist's office, and smiled big as I started the work!  A few minutes later, after much coaching and encouragement from my son, out came the tooth and he was rinsing the "affected area" with salt water.  The excitement has died down and he's now back upstairs playing basketball with his sister.

Another successful day at the Dolby House!!!!

Twas the night before Christmas...

 

Twas the night before Christmas...

One of my biggest worries whenever we move is how the kids will adjust to their new schools.  I feel bad for them when they say good-bye at the old school, I feel excited with them when they see their new house, and I feel the fear they feel on the first day at the new school.  

Both kids were scared this time around, even though they won't admit it.  Justin told me, "Mom, the worst thing about the first day is that you don't even have someone to ask where things are."  Annalise would say in her prayers at night, "...and I know I'll always be OK as long as I keep my friends in my heart to guide me..."  

My heart was especially sad for Annalise this time around because she left a community that she had grown up with.  Her kindergarten friends stuck with her through the years and she was leaving some girls that she really loves.  On her first day of school, I worried and waited for her to come home and tell me how it went.  I'm pleased to say that she did great!  She made a friend and she said she loved her teachers. As long as we're admitting things here, the truth is that I miss Salt Creek and my friends so I understand what they're feeling because I was nervous to start over too.

I got my first chance to come to school this week and see Annalise's class.  Justin asked me to give him some space now that he's in 5th Grade, which I happily respected, and I did not go to his Holiday Party.  Annalise, on the other hand, is still young enough to want to show me her school life.  

As you can see, Annalise has adjusted as we would expect - just fine!  She's brought her love of reading with her to Valrico and she's in love with school just the way she always has been.  She was sick this week so we all hoped that she would be able to do her Narrator part.  Her voice came back just in time and she did great!  Her classroom here is a team setting where they have two classrooms and two teachers to take advantage of.  It's amazing!  The room they are in is set up as their reading area and it stays this way all year long.  Their desks are in the other room where they do their desk work and they move between the rooms all day long.  Her teachers work together and make all of the kids work just a little harder because, as both of my kids have mentioned, they can't get away with anything since there's always a teacher walking around.

We're still wearing Salt Creek shirts to school but I think we all feel comfortable now as Valrico Explorers!

The $2 Poinsettia

Teaching kids about money is a challenge.  I am not very good at it, believe it or not, and I'm afraid that I'm not teaching my kids the right way to budget or the importance of saving early.  I am not a very disciplined person and I'm not the mom who gets the allowance out every Sunday (even though I mean to every single Sunday) and I don't do a good job of making them budget for the big things.  I mean to, but I never get around to it.

My frustration with my own shortcoming was unfortunately taken out on my son last night and he fired back with a lesson that hit me square in the heart.

Justin and Annalise both participated in a military kid study several months ago and they each got $15 for it in the mail yesterday.  I gave them their cash and told them they could do what they wanted with it.  I was certainly not a deprived child and I never went without anything I wanted, so I'm not sure how I wound up this way, but I am a neurotic saver.  I hate spending money and I feel so much better when I make a deposit into the savings account than when I buy that gorgeous pair of shoes.  When I handed their cash to them, I assumed that they would proudly deposit the money in their piggy banks and leave it there to count later as I would have done as a child. 

I am not my child and my child is not me.  Repeat.

We went to buy a Christmas Tree last night and Justin had his $15 in his pocket.  I was wandering through the pine tree aisles when he came over to me, wearing a proud smile on his face, and handed me a little poinsettia plant with a gold wrapper. The words flew out before I even thought through them and I said something along the lines of, "Seriously?  What did you spend your money on now?" 

Mouth in gear, brain in neutral. That never ends well.

The smile flickers for a moment and he says, "I bought it for you, Mom.  It was only two bucks..."

Oh, it gets worse.

I groveled all night and tried to save myself by justifying my response to him.  I was a hopeless mess babbling mindless stories about why it's important to save and how we will buy him the things he needs.  He listened politely and didn't say much so I filled the silence with more mindless babble about things he really didn't care about.  I ended by reminding him that the greatest gifts I ever get are things he makes me.  I asked him to make me a card for the flowers. "To Mom, From Justin" or something like that.

When we got home, he asked me for a notecard and pen so that he could write a label for my flowers. He disappeared for much longer than usual so I thought that maybe he was drawing me a battle scene or something like that.  Nope.  Way wrong.  This is what I got:

Trust me, I know that there are many battles and life lessons to come.  I know I have lots to improve on when it comes to being a good Mom.  I know, I know...don't waste time patting myself on the back.  I know all of that, but right now, I know I have done something RIGHT. 

Goalie

Playing for the Aztecs - Spring Season

Another Aztec shot - he got his hands on this one!

He's been working hard on strategy 

and getting the ball where it needs to go.

Action Shot - Winter Season with the Tigers

One of my favorites!  This was a save made playing with the Tigers.

After several years of dedication to his love of American Football, Justin decided to take a break and try his hand at the "Real Futbol".  Hats off to my soccer stud!  He has found a talent that I never dreamed he had!  John was a goalie growing up and it looks as though Justin may follow very successfully in his footsteps. 

I must admit that I love being a soccer mom.  It's so much fun to go to the games and watch your kid play his heart out!  Since Justin has taken on the job of goalie though, I think I've had no less than 47 heart attacks and I may have aged a few years while holding my breath as the other team comes tearing down the field ready to score.  San Diego seems to be a place full of talented young athletes and youth sports are generally places where I find myself blown away by the competition. Soccer around here is generally pretty amazing to watch!

The first team Justin played on this year, the Tigers, was coached by a prior competitive player and all of the kids on the team had played before.  They were tough to beat and Justin had to work hard to keep his spot as goalie!  He's been a part of a very competitive (undefeated is the truth) football team for the past year, and while he had enjoyed the taste of victory, he had not experienced being in the hot seat.  He didn't play quarterback, he didn't play receiver, and he didn't experience the pressure of being the kicker trying to get an extra point to win the game.  Playing goalie brought some new experiences for him!  He stopped plenty of shots, but he got scored on once or twice and had to learn how to pick his head up and get ready for the next one. 

He had so much fun playing winter soccer that he went back for more in the spring season.  This time, his team was a little more green (to put it mildly).  They were rookies and they were just trying to figure out which way they were going for the first couple of games!  Justin took plenty of shots on goal and he came out bloody once or twice!  They lost every game and at about mid-season, his team started taking it out on him.  He came home from practice one day feeling defeated because one of the other kids had said, "Maybe you could start making some saves!" I was sad to see my kid feeling down and out but happy to see him come back quickly when we talked about how many saves he did have and how his odds of success might improve a bit if maybe his defense would help him out.  

His team must have worked it out because they came out for blood the next week!  They played a team that I thought would beat them 25 - 0 (no kidding) and they wound up scoring two goals and losing by only three.  By most counts, a butt whooping, but for this team, it was a major accomplishment! Justin was diving all over the place, he made some amazing saves, and he managed to learn how to get his team to work together.  There were high fives being shared all around and after the game, I had two parents from the other team ask if I was his Mom.  With a puffed up pride I said, "I sure am!" and they let me know that they thought he was a really good goalie.  The only moment that topped that was when I heard the coach of the other team say to himself, "Dang.  That kid's good!" It was such an amazing performance that I couldn't stop myself and I rushed the field at the end to tell him just how awesome he had played! The victory was made sweeter because it was his Tenth Birthday so it's a game we'll always remember.

Justin has won some games and he's now certainly lost some games.  He's been down in the dirt with kids kicking hard at him and he's gotten back up to try again.  He's had kids tell him it's his fault when it goes bad and he's also had them tell him that he's a superstar when it goes right.  He's also endured playing in the hot seat with his whole team counting on him and his family yelling for him.  He's learned under fire and he's certainly earned his goalie jersey! 

Signing off,

The always proud Soccer Mom!

P.S.  I might just love soccer because I have experienced my most memorable moment in a long time during one of the games.   As I mentioned, it was chaotic and there were lots of shots being taken on him, lots of yelling going on, and lots of pressure.  At one point during the season, we switched sides at halftime and he asked me to walk down to the other end of the field with him.  (I had done that the week before because it's a little lonely in enemy territory with all of the heckling that goes on).  I asked if he was sure he didn't want Dad/Grandad to go down with him because they know how to coach and he said, "Nope.  Just you please."  I know that's not going to be their favorite story...but it's mine...and it will be for a long time. 

Family Adventure

Where in the world are we these days? 

Well, with the launch of Petit Bistro Photography, we're commonly found behind the lens.  Justin and Annalise have been very patient about heading out to photo shoots on all (and I mean ALL) of their free time recently.  Here's Justin, muddy knees and all, working on his homework at the baseball field this past week while I did a Team Shoot for the little league.  Annalise found a new friend this particular day (there have been many, I think she was playing with Bella this time) and they were digging up cups of dirt and serving some kind of dust soup to the parents. 

It's not just sports events for us!  They spent John's birthday this year playing in the waves on Coronado Beach while we did our first Family Portrait shoot.  For a minute that night I thought I had lost them and a bit of panic set in for this usually relatively calm mother.  I started the frantic search and thankfully after about a minute, I found Justin's feet kicking up above the sea wall.  I'm not sure what he was doing because I couldn't see his body (just kicking legs - straight out of a cartoon) but I knew the feet were his!  A second later, Annalise's head bobbed up and I saw that she was supervising whatever activity was going on.  I figured they were safe as long as she was in charge. 

Although they usually complain when we head out the door, they always manage to have a good time once we get there.  If our business becomes successful, it will be based on the efforts of all four members of our family and our kids are so much a part it all.  I hope they're making good memories along the way because in this world of digital and electronic everything, at the very least, they are forced outdoors on a regular basis.  With their Mom and Dad.  I love it!

The Bike Ramp

 Gathering the Materials - Two plastic ramps made the journey from Bryson's garage across the street.  Bryson was also kind enough to contribute most of the bike and helmet gear.

Here they are working on the solution for the backside of the ramp. The question is, "How do we make it tall enough?"

OK, Down Ramp...ready to go!  The table can hold the bike's weight but the board fell down while they were pushing it up.  No problem - all you have to do is set it up again before the next person goes.

After the reset, the front is back in business. 

Let's test the back end of the ramp.

Tabletop is OBVIOUSLY not going to work.

...and the testing starts again...

 

Tomorrow's Engineers!

Justin had his buddies (Jordan and Bryson) over yesterday for the normal after school antics.  I was in the back yard doing homework with Annalise when I heard some loud scraping noises that made my ears perk up.  It eventually stopped so I went back to fractions with Annalise.  I got a little worried when it started again a minute later, so I went out front to investigate and, sure enough, my kids were responsible for the noise.  Bryson has two plastic bike ramps that they were dragging over to our house to use in their bike ramp.  The contents of our garage were also being unloaded and considered for the final product.  There were 2x4s and boards from John's last project, saw horses, and every other random thing we might own. 

I knew this would most likely be entertaining, so I got out the camera and found a spot across the street to watch their progress.  Their negotiations were quite spirited and they all found themselves to be fantastic engineers.  They were eventually ready to test the contraption and Justin hopped on his bike to be the first brave soul.  I tried to stay out of their way but when I saw that happening, I had to jump in and ask they they test with a non human object first.

Thank God.

They have set a date for next Wednesday to construct and test the newest version.

The Day She Arrived

There are lots of new babies around these days, which makes me feel very nostalgic, and it reminds me again how fast the time goes.  I was in the grocery store tonight with Annalise and she was clowning around with the lady at check out.  I was giggling and having fun watching her, but there's always a fair dose of peer pressure to "get a move on" when you know there's a line of people behind you, waiting to check out, who do not think your kid is as cute as you do!

Believe it or not, the guy behind me said, "With that kind of personality, be sure to record every moment because you'll forget them as she gets older."  I guess he was having fun too.

He's right!  I forget the baby moments from time to time so here's the story of Annalise's Arrival into this world.  I wrote it a few days after I came home from the hospital so it's genuine but written by a groggy new mom. 

October 6, 2005

I went to the doctor's office for a check-up a couple of weeks out (probably around September 27th) and our doctor said I was looking healthy and was making some progress toward labor.  I had been going through some false labor since about the middle of September.  Rachael came out to stay with me "just in case" while John was in Monterey starting his MBA Program.  I went back to the doctor around October 2nd and I was still at the exact same place I had been, "making some progress toward labor." Not much though.  We scheduled an induction for 6:00am on October 6th which was her due date.  I went back home to wait.  Each night I would take a shower before bed, "just in case" I needed to go anywhere.  Mom was here to stay with Justin whenever the time finally did come.

On the night of October 6th, we went to bed with the alarm set to go bright and early for our appointment in the morning.  Our bags were packed and we were excited!  At about 1:00am, a contraction woke me up and I KNEW this was it.  Even though I think I knew this was the real thing, I took a shower like they suggest to make sure it wasn't just another false alarm.

We timed the contractions and they were about 4 minutes apart right away.  I tried to stay calm and I assumed I was just doing something wrong because it's not supposed to happen that fast.  I stopped very calmly to talk to Mom on my way out the door but John was trying to get me out of the house because he knew it was going to happen quickly.  Boy was he right!

We finally hit the road (from our house in Chula Vista) at 2:30am.  As soon as we got in the car, I knew we were in some big trouble.  At about the end of our street, my water broke and I was so happy that John had stocked my seat with an armload of towels!  Contractions started coming at about 2 minutes apart and I tried to hide that fact from John because I was scared - it was a long drive to La Jolla!

About halfway to the hospital, we were close to Balboa hospital and I thought about begging him to stop.  I didn't because I wanted to be at La Jolla so bad (since that was the plan) but I think he read my mind.  He drove FAST up the highway and he called the hospital on the way to let them know we were coming and that we'd need a wheelchair at the curb.  They told us later that lots of peole say that but they knew by John's voice that he was quite serious! I remember smelling burning brakes when we got out of the car and the nurses tricked me into the wheelchair by promising drugs if I could get myself upstairs.  Those jokesters were lying!!!! No drugs for me!  Annalise was on her way whether I liked it or not!

They told me "not to do anything" until they could get a doctor there (like I had any control over the situation) and I'm not sure how anything happened from there.  All I could manage was to listen to John's voice who talked me calmly through each step.  Eleven minutes after we arrived at the curb, we had a baby girl crying in our arms!  We were famous up and down the hall.

My clearest memory right after she was born was when the nurse asked if I wanted to hold her, and I said, "I can't...".  She took Annalise away from me and tried her best to comfort me by saying, "Don't worry...it will be OK."  I recognized that she thought I didn't WANT to hold her but that could not be farther from the truth.  My body was so tired, I was on pitocin, and my hands were so weak from squeezing my fists the whole car ride up that I knew I couldn't safely hold her.  I heard her crying and I knew that I'd hold her soon.  

 Hello Sweet Girl!!!

Mom came to the hospital right away to see us and John and Ginnie brought Justin a little later.  Kelly came with snacks, Dave and Susan came by and Jen (Auntie Jenny) came to see me the first day.

The first thing Justin did when he got in our hospital room was to kiss his baby sister on the forehead.  He didn't like all of the hospital garb on me and he stayed away for a minute.  Finally he got in bed with me and snuggled.  I was so very happy to see him!

 Big Brother and his Baby Sister

 Hello Little Man!!!

Annalise was a sweet and snuggly baby from the first second.  When Justin was born, he cried when they had him in the heater but Annalise just watched.  He was loud from the start, Annalise waited a little longer, but when she finally did cry - it was LOUD!  I remember thinking that we needed to keep her quiet in the hospital room because she was likely to wake EVERYONE else up!

We came home on October 7th after the doctors gave us a clean bill of health.

 Her first outfit - Sporty and Pink!

Let the loving begin!

How I spent most of my first week home

Here are some comments I wrote about Justin and his "Big Brother" revelations dated 11/18/2005:

"Mommy...Annalise will be the Princess when she grows up and I will be the Prince Charming when I grow up."

Another cute one...

Often when she's crying, he will say softly to her, "It's OK Annalise, your Big Brother is here."

Broncos

NFL Playoffs are here and the ugliness comes out!!!

I treasure the memory of my first Bronco Game and I've loved those boys for a lot of years! I remember "The Drive" and getting a phone call from my cousin in Cleveland 2 minutes before the game ended when we were on the 2 yard line.  Those years that we went to the Superbowl (and lost...twice) as a child were amazing because the whole city was enjoying Bronco Fever!    There were orange and blue painted houses and Bronco songs on the radio.  I remember Thunder running around the field, the official naming of "Bronco Boulevard"and generally feeling like I was a part of something bigger.  That's a powerful feeling as a young girl and I think I needed it at the time.

In college, the excitement started again as Elway and The Broncos were enjoying the long awaited return of excellent, winning seasons.  My Bronco Pride heightened during my 4 year tenure in New England.  How many times did I come home to find my door covered in Patriot Paper or find a photo of Thunder being stabbed by a Patriot Bayonet?  Too many times to count.  Broncos are my childhood and, try as I might, I have not found a bond with any other team that rivals this one.

It's an interesting battle that I face (in all of my parenting challenges) to separate my own desires from what my kids want.  When they were babies, I decked them out in Bronco Gear any chance I got! 

As they got older, I wanted them to have a chance to build their own memories and find their own team.  Football was still (and always will be) a family sport but we started to foster a healthy rivalry in our house.

I still kept the faith...but I encouraged the kids to find teams of their own.  As I look through pictures for this entry, I find MANY pictures of Justin or Annalise in Charger shirt being snuggled by me in a Bronco shirt.  

After an incredible (and unexpected) win against the Steelers last week in a wildcard game, Denver is preparing for a playoff game in New England against those Patriots that I love to hate.  I woke up this morning and posted a few comments on Facebook before putting on my Bronco hat to take the kids to school.  Annalise is at an age that makes my heart melt (wanting to be like Mom) and she asked me for a Bronco shirt.  She's been asking for a while and I keep avoiding it because I want her to have her own experience.

Imagine my rage when in line for school to start, three boys from her class (wearing Charger shirts for spirit day at school) came up and told me, "Broncos Suck!"  I listened to it for a while, somewhat in shock that first graders were so comfortable talking like that, but I was done when I saw the tears balancing precariously close to the edge of Annalise's little eyes.  She was offended that someone would hurt her Mom and she started to trash talk, unsuccessfully, right back.  The real me wanted to take the bait and laugh that the Chargers were done for the season (Ha Ha!!!) but the more mature me explained that saying that is not nice and that everyone can have their own team.  They asked lots of questions and I explained that when I was in first grade, I lived in Denver.  One kid is moving soon and he was pleased to find out that he could stay a Charger fan even if he leaves San Diego.

The morning ended peacefully with my girl on her way to class but you can bet your Bronco Behind that if Denver manages to pull out a miracle this weekend, that girl of mine will have her very own Bronco shirt to wear on Monday and she'll be well prepared to handle any trash talking that might come her way!!!! If we lose, well, she's got her Charger shirt as a back up.

Beautiful Girl

Annalise agreed to be my model for an afternoon a couple of Saturdays ago. We made a special day out of it by going to the salon and getting a snack together before hitting the beach. I've been struck recently by how fast time seems to fly by and I wanted to capture my little girl while I still had one.

Yes, my girl is growing up and showing me every day that she can take care of herself. About a month ago, she found herself in a bind. She was very brave about it and she took matters into her own hands. She had a ponytail in her hair that she wanted to take out, but when she wound up with some tangles in the rubber band that were hurting her, she realized she was stuck. She thought through what I would do if I were helping her and she remembered me using scissors from time to time to cut out stubborn rubber bands. She got the scissors that I had used and she cut the ponytail out. As far as she was concerned, the problem was solved.

Along the day, John and I found clumps of hair laying all around the house in odd places. We were calm at first but after the 7th or 8th clump was found, one hidden in her art supplies, we left a message with the triage nurse at the doctor's office on a Friday evening. We braced ourselves for terrible news about a rare disease. I got out the brush. John asked me not to do it, with a genuine fear in his eye, but I held my breath and combed carefully through her hair prepared for it all to fall out in my hands.

As I brushed, I noticed a distinct pattern to the clumping. All pieces on the floor seemed to be of the same length and when I looked closer, they seemed to be coming from one section of her head. I put the brush down, snuggled her close, and promised that she would not be in trouble if she had cut her hair but I told her that I needed to know. She tearfully fessed up to what had happened. When the nurse called back, we told her the good news, and she giggled and said, "Poor little girl!"

She's healthy and I am reminded again how lucky I am. I hug her more than ever now. We did, however, have a fashion issue to solve. When we took her to the salon, we were told that the only thing they could do was to give her bangs. We agreed but when they were cut, Annalise took one look in the mirror and looked right at us and said, "I look Horrible!!!!" The stylist thought she was just being cute, but it was genuine disgust coming out of my daughter with that sentence. I promised her that she looked beautiful but she wasn't ready to believe me. Yet.

It's taken some time, and while she still hates her bangs, she believes me that they'll grow back. She's promised not to cut her hair again, and she is content with pushing the bangs to the side for now. My joy is seeing her keep her confidence and poise, not letting the trivial things bother her, and watching her patiently grow them out! It's a good story to have so early because I can't find a woman out there who has not cut her own bangs (and regretted it!). I consider her lucky because at 6 years old, my little one has already experienced and recovered from this traumatic rite of passage.

First Newspaper Appearance

Justin's been playing football for a few years now. His first season was on the Flag Blue team with the Panthers, his next season he played Tiny Mite for the Portsmouth Patriots, and then he returned home to play on Mighty Mite Blue and Junior Pee Wee Blue Panther teams. This season they have achieved the ultimate in youth football...A SPOT IN THE Q BOWL! They take the field this Saturday to play for the Championship. Below is a newspaper article that was printed yesterday in the Eastlake Times.

Undefeated Eastlake Faces Otay Ranch in 2011 Super “Q” Bowl

This year Eastlake’s unbeaten Panther’s Junior Pee Wee Blue team (ages 10 and 11) will face Otay Ranch Blue (10-1) at this year’s Super “Q” Bowl, sponsored by San Diego’s Youth Football & Cheer (SDYFC).

The winner will be crowned the best team in the conference and possibly San Diego county, as SDYFC is arguably the most competitive youth football league in San Diego.



Less than three miles separate the two Chula Vista football teams but for two hours a day, four days a week (San Diego Youth football mandates teams switch to 3 days per week after Labor Day) both teams have tirelessly practiced from July to Mid-November to successfully reach this milestone.

Led by first -year head coach, Clarence Freeman, the Eastlake Panthers come into the “Q” Bowl championship confident having beaten Los Toros Bulls last week 31-0.

However, the championship game should be a good one as it will be a rematch from Week 8 when Eastlake Panthers barely beat Otay Ranch 19-15.

Good luck to both teams.

2011 Super “Q” Bowl
Event: 2011 Super Q Bowl (Jr. Pee Wee Division)
Date: Saturday, November 19th
Time: 12:00 PM
Location: Southwestern College
Cost to attend: $10.00 adults $5.00 children 6-14
Head Coach: Clarence Freeman
Eastlake Panthers Blue (11-0) vs Otay Ranch Broncos Blue (10-1)

Q BOWL 2011 @ Southwestern College
Mighty Mite-Balboa vs Skyline 10:00am
Junior Pee Wee-Otay Ranch (Blue) vs Eastlake (Blue) 12:00pm
Pee Wee-Del Norte vs Balboa 2:00pm
Junior Midget-Coastal vs Skyline 4:00pm
Midget-Menifee (Red) vs Steele Canyon 6:00pm

Happy Birthday Papa

We have a very strict rule in our house: "If Papa does something, we should probably not do it ourselves." It's a good general rule of thumb for them to follow in terms of behavior because it often guides them in the choices they make. For example, they can ask themselves on the playground before jamming their fingers in a friend's nose, "Would Papa do this?" If the answer is "yes" (he would), they're supposed to choose not to do it.

On this special day, however, we thought a tribute to Papa would be appropriate. The kids practiced and negotiated terms with me in order to make it authentic. I gave in on almost everything they thought of, but I did ask them to change "jerk" to "nerd" so it doesn't rhyme as well as they would have liked. Mom's fault on that...

Enjoy! Happy Birthday Papa!

"Top Gun" kind of day

One of the perks of Navy Life is access to Breakers Beach on Coronado Island. It's usually a quiet, family-friendly place so I like spending afternoons there with the kids. When we went down there last week with John, it was a whole new experience! There was a ton of activity in the air and I felt like we were in a scene straight out of Top Gun.

Here comes a Hawkeye on final approach.

The handoff - right in front of the Hotel Del.

Annalise plays in the sand with PT going on at the water's edge.
She will continue ignoring the handsome men in uniform...

I don't know that anything else needs to be said.

We spent the day in the sand having a good old time. I'm sure you wouldn't believe me if I told you that there was even a volleyball game as we were leaving. Yes, there was. Sadly, it was no Maverick or Goose, Ice or Wolfman, but it was still one for the books.

Remembering 9/11

Daddy and his little athletes at the starting line.

Annalise on the trail - just starting out.

Crossing the finish line.

Nana and Mom enjoying a hard earned iced coffee after the race.

It was 10 years ago that life changed so drastically for all of us. I still remember very vividly the events of that morning as I'm sure so many others do. What I remember just as clearly are the days after; looking for my friends, trying to get from Dallas to San Diego, and driving across the San Francisco Bay Bridge 9 days later listening to George W. Bush declare War on Terror. I was with my boss at the time, a prior sailor himself, and I remember him saying, "Well, that certainly shakes things up a bit!"

I was in Michigan the next March when we invaded Iraq, Justin was 9 months old, and John was deployed to the Persian Gulf. I usually had email communication with him but with all of that going on, email was obviously cut off. I held our son in my arms that day in Grandma T's living room and I said a quick prayer that my family's part in this story would someday make sense to me. Grandma was with me and, in her aging mind, she connected with me again even closer than she ever had before. She worried with me as she remembered her own experience waiting for my Grandpa, a deployed Navy Sailor, to come home safely from WWII.

Life has changed for everyone since that day. For my family, it has meant that the word "war" is a part of our daily life. I no longer consider the connection of 9/11 to what we do today, but when I look back, I can see how much a part of who we are is driven by that event. I also realize how lucky we are that the impacts to our family are merely inconvenience rather than true sacrifice or loss.

We have moved on since September 11th but my husband teaches me often that it's important to stop and remember in order to learn and move forward. I'm not sure what I had planned to do in order to honor the 10th Anniversary, but it likely would have passed without much acknowledgement had John not chosen to remind us all how important it is to honor and remember. In that spirit, we participated in the Travis Manion 9/11 Heroes Run which was created to "honor the fallen by challenging the living."

Justin got to run the 5K Trail Run with his Dad and they crossed the finish line far ahead of me. Justin amazes me with his will to face any challenge on the football field so I'm not sure why I was so surprised at his amazing run, but I was. I learned a lot about my daughter that day - specifically that she is very competitive yet retains her flair for the dramatic at all times. There were several points where she would sprint ahead, leaving me in the dust, only to stop and have to rest because she was "soooo tired!" I coached her along until one point close to the end when she stopped to tell me, with huge tears in her eyes, that she didn't want to finish. I was afraid for a minute that I had pushed too hard, but imagine my shock when she hit the gas pedal a second later to chase down a Grandpa who ran by saying, "Come on little girl - you're not going to let ME beat you, are you?" She finished strong with a smile on her face one pace in front of John and Justin who came back to cross the finish line with her. She also finished several paces in front of the friendly Grandpa who gave her the kick in the pants she needed.

There's no doubt that life has changed for me and this country since the towers went down. I'm thankful for those who have sacrificed so much greater than we have in order to keep us safe. I'm thankful that my gifts in life walk safely and freely by my side every day. I'm so happy that my family stopped to honor and remember and that we will continue to do so in the future.

Little Fish

ICE CREAM EVERYWHERE!!!

Starfish


Swimming and Dunking

I'm not sure why, but Annalise has always had a healthy fear of the water. She's never been a fan of having it in her face and it's generally a bit of a fight to wash her hair in the tub because she needs to be absolutely certain that there is ZERO CHANCE that a single drop of water will even venture near her nose, ears, or eyes. Yes, I know, I should have been running water over her face as a baby in the bathtub, but I didn't, so she's had to overcome the challenge herself.

We've been working hard on getting her to be happy in the water this summer and we started out with a life jacket, paired with a Nemo inner tube, and a death grip on me whenever she went in the water. Eventally, she got brave and she became comfortable in the water on her own with just her life jacket. Through playing in the water with a ton of friends, she's gotten even braver and I've been trying to talk her into putting her face in the water. No luck so far...

I'm not sure what happened today, but I think she just decided she was ready to give it a try! I asked her if she wanted to play "starfish" (which I had seen another mom doing) and as a starfish she was 100% on board with floating on her back with her ears in the water. She says it's peaceful under the water without all of the people screaming all over the place. (Huh - maybe I should try living under the water?). After Starfish was over, she said she was ready to dunk under the water with me. I've been bugging her to try for months so I was a little surprised when she asked me! She held on to my hand and went completely under. I came up pretty quickly to check on her and there she was...hanging out below the surface! We started the day with her holding her nose but, as you can see, she's ready to try blowing "nose bubbles" and now she's rockin' it!

Hanging Lake

Jasmine roughing it at the bottom of the trail.

Self Portraits never turn out as amazing as I imagine them to be. This is me in front of one of the waterfalls at the bottom of the trail just as "sweat fest" kicks in.

One of my favorite spots on the way up

Another favorite near the top

The kids on the hike with Patty

The amazing...Hanging Lake

I remember my very first hike in the Rockies with an amazing amount of detail. It was a fairly difficult hike at the time and I remember feeling like I had found the top of the world when I finally made it to the top. There was a gigantic green lake with two waterfalls flowing into it that seemed like a scene from a movie. I was with two other stinky boys at the time, so I remember playing in the water and dreaming that I was a mermaid princess living in a magical land while they annoyingly duked it out with swords and grenades off to the side. I remember a tree had fallen into the lake and I pretended that it was my bridge to the other side of the world. I've always held that picture in my head and I was anxious to return to show it to my own kids.

The magic was a bit different this time around but it was a day I'll remember for a long time. We got to the bottom of the trail and discovered that we could not bring Jasmine with us so I started out enjoying a spot in a shady waterfall at the bottom while Jasmine explored around us. I was sad not to go up but honestly very happy camping out where I was. Mom hiked part way with the kids and then had an attack of the guilty conscience and came back down to get me. She left the kids with "Ms. Patty" who is a wonderful woman blessed with the patience needed to get through a tough hike with my kids.

I started up the trail on a mission to catch them and I immediately started the sweat fest and the heavy breathing that comes with high altitude. I was a bit embarrassed by my condition given that I had recently run a marathon and it didn't help that my young kids were miles ahead of me! I took some deep breaths, kept going, and relaxed to the sound of the waterfalls winding through the trail. I expected to run into the kids about halfway up, but I never did. I knew they were in good hands, so I sat back and enjoyed the hike. It was a full hour of peace in my childhood mountains all to myself and I enjoyed every second of it. I would have liked to share it with them, but I have to admit that it might have been tainted with periodic rantings of "get your hands off your sister!" and "yes...you do have to keep going or I'll feed you to the wolves" had it turned out the way I had planned.

When I reached the top, there they were, sitting quietly on a rock enjoying a snack. The lake was just as I had remembered and I knew why my brain has refused to let go of the experience after all of these years. It was nature, pure and simple. It was beautiful. I know that my kids did not have the same experience I did, but sometimes that's OK. It's still my lake, my memory, my peace, and my story. From time to time, a mom has to remember her own childhood and embrace the experiences that shaped her in order to be a better mom in the end. My kids will likely remember this day because they got to hike with a new friend and they'll remember the beauty when I prompt them mercilessly. For me, it was a lesson. My kids will always love me and I will always love them, but we might not always have the same journey, stories, or dreams, and in the end that's maybe just the way it's supposed to be.