Sardines

Annalise - Age 5

I just went through my email to clean out over 4000 messages of mostly JUNK that was bogging me down.  Lucky for me, I found this little gem...

*******************
March 21, 2011
From: Lisa Dolby
To: Lisa Dolby
Subject: You can show me where the sardine one is.

Message: Blank
*******************

...it took me about one second to remember what that one was about.

It was a warm (hot) spring day in Chula Vista and I was spending some time with Annalise while Justin was in school.  She was in Kindergarten, so she must have been on the early release schedule, and we had an hour or so until we had to go back to Salt Creek to pick up Justin who was in third grade.  We were running an errand and Annalise asked me for ice cream.  

I told her that ice cream is a treat, that we can't have it all the time because it's not healthy for us, and that we could only have it on special occasions.  We started talking about ice cream versus sherbert and I told her that I'd be open to the idea of going to the grocery store and bringing home some fruit sorbet.  This did not make her happy!  I remember that she did not throw a tantrum but looked heartbroken and it was so hard not to give in. Parenting is hard on the heart from time to time.

We went over to Vons (grocery store) and she had been thinking about the offer for a little while.  She was still just little enough that I could carry her, which I did often, so I remember that I was dreading how she felt like such a big girl holding on to my hand in the parking lot.  She asked me a few questions about random things and then sighed and told me, "Mommy, I've been thinking and I guess you can show me where the sardine one is."

Huh?

Translated:  She was ready to negotiate and was willing to consider my deal.  She wanted to know what the "sorbet" was all about.  One of our most serious rules is that our kids may not throw a tantrum to get what they want.  If they'll take a breath, calm down, and talk to us about it rationally, we're always willing to listen.  That day in the Vons parking lot, I was so impressed with her willingness to try "sardines" that I hugged her tight, told her I was proud of her for not having a fit even when she wanted to, and she won the negotiation.

We went to Cold Stone and enjoyed a little bit of the good stuff!