One More Day

John is excited about his new clothes!

At the Chula Vista BMX Track

Suiting up for practice!!!!

Dinner at Bento and Noodles after practice

Eating ice cream at the fireplace

Dropping John off at the airport

At the gate right before we left John

I often find myself wishing for "just one more day" because, if it's a good day, I'll wish for a repeat, and if it's a bad day I am most obviously going to wish for a do-over. When I look back on this particular day though, I don't know yet if I would want to experience it again. I think maybe I will just let this one be...

Our last day with John was a blissfully normal day. We took the kids to school, John went to work, and I puttered around the house. We were lucky enough to have two of the VonBergens in town for a race so we spent some of the afternoon at the track watching Zachary practice. We ended the day with a trip to Bento for a sushi dinner where Randy and Jennifer promised they would take care of us while John's gone. I am comforted because I have faith that they will. When the sun went down, we walked next door for some ice cream from Cold Stone to enjoy at the fireplace where we've spent many evenings as a family. The biggest event of the day was that Justin got to wear pads to football practice for the first time and John was here to see it. We all did a very good job of being casual and normal while always knowing in the back of our minds that each second mattered. We hated to look at our watches and that's always hard on the soul.

John left on Saturday morning and I had a hard time at the airport. I had been as brave as I could be but when I saw his sea bag, I turned into a blubbering mess. The poor United attendant took one look at me sobbing and said, "Oh don't worry honey! We'll get you a gate pass!" God Bless him. We went through security with John and the normal routine of putting a family of four through the metal detectors got me righted again. John went for breakfast and he got me coffee so I felt myself slowly regain control of the little things. Eventually I felt brave enough to go home without him. When it was time, I got up and walked away from him, with a kid holding each of my hands, and I never looked back to see if he was doing OK. I know he was sad but I also know he's strong and brave and, most of all, that he trusts me with all he has. I don't know what was in his heart right then but I know I would crumble if I had to stand there and watch the kids walk away. He is, most certainly, a hero to me.

The rest of Saturday was a blur. I left the airport, dropped Justin at the football field, coached a soccer game, took photos of the football game, and finally brought the kids home to rest. I have been given many things in my life and my friends are a gift I treasured more than ever that day. Old friends called or texted to let me know that I was in their thoughts and my new friends were here in person to help me through it all. I got a good, strong "Navy Mom Hug" from a friend at the soccer field which gave me strength to get through the game. My Football Mom friend gave me bright yellow flowers which made me smile whenever I would walk into the kitchen. My Neighbor Mom friend gave me a smiley face bottle of wine and some kisses from her baby to bring back the joy. My family, both mine and John's, was there every step of the way to help us through the day. Thank you all, each and every one of you.

Justin and Annalise seem to grasp at odd times what is going on. Like me, I'm sure they are caught by surprise from time to time when they realize that John has a much longer commute than normal when the whistle finally blows. Justin heard me say "thirteen months" one day this week and he said, "Mom. Did you know that thirteen months is longer than a year?" Annalise tells people out of the blue that her Daddy is at work, in the desert, or in Qatar and she's very happy when they acknowledge her. They listen to him sing his song on the digital frame each night and they often draw pictures for each other showing Dad in some version of playing a game with them. They are behaving in school, both are being being strong and brave, and they have all of my respect for being so willing to stand with John and I in this choice we have made to live a military life. I know they are proud and I am just as proud of them.

As I look back, I don't think I want to repeat or redo the past few days because they were honestly too hard on me. I am thankful for them though because it brings perspective back to me and reminds me that, even if things don't always seem perfect, I have more love and joy in my home than I ever thought possible.

Family Photos

How often do you kick your shoes off and run through a fountain fully dressed? Not often enough...that's how often!

A friend from school (a fellow Kindergarten Mom) took some family shots for us tonight. I'm not sure how it happened, but as she was clicking away I wound up climbing fences, hanging from monkey bars, jumping off of tables, spinning, and running fully dressed through a fountain! The evening was topped off by our normally conservative family of four streaking from the car to the house before settling in for some Monday Night Football. I hate to consider what my mother would say or what my neighbors are thinking!

These are two teasers from the collection but I'm saving the best for later when I decide what I want to do with them.

Photography Credit: Erin McGinty Kelly (Available through referral and Facebook). Highly recommended for artistic ability, effective family therapy, creativity, and a darn good time.

Family Birthday

Family Birthday Dinner - Tamales

Family Birthday Cake


Rockin' Out with Justin's new Guitar Hero

She was VERY happy to have a DS!

Cake Time!

As if I ever need to have an excuse to get presents!!!

After trying to explain to Annalise that we could celebrate her birthday early if she wanted to so that John could be here with us, I saw quickly that I was heading into a downward spiral. She would then ask, "Will he be home for Justin's birthday because his isn't until next year?" I'd try to explain calendar years versus timeline years and get a blank stare back. Justin realized early on in the conversation that John would be gone for his birthday and naturally asked about mine. The worst worry they had was how lonely Daddy would be on his birthday - they were puzzled about how to fix that one. A couple of ideas were floated and my favorite one was to send a pet (not Jasmine) in the mail to snuggle him.

The best answer became clear very quickly. We decided to host a family birthday so that nobody would miss anybody else's special day! Everyone got a present and we each had a quarter of the cake decorated with a different color. We each had candles to show the birthday that we would miss and I think the kids started to understand what was going on. Justin, who admittedly understands much more than his sister these days, decided to make the most out of the event and he told me he would be adding a "1" to his piece so that he could turn 19. I don't think so...

After we opened presents, John and Justin rocked out to the new Guitar Hero and Justin mastered the basics of 80's Hair Band music. Annalise has been waiting and waiting for a DS for as long as we can rememeber. I told her that she could ask for one when she turned 5 because that's when her brother got his. As I'm sure you can imagine, her face lit up when she opened the PINK DS! I got a fitted Broncos Jersey (47 - John Lynch) which made me so happy because I've always had one that makes it look like I am carrying a backpack or smuggling a child underneath it! John opened his present to find yet another camera. He asked for a small one that he could take with him but he looked quite underwhelmed to open such a puny thing after getting to play with a professional lens all day long! Poor Guy...

I've met many wise Navy Wives in my time and one of them told me to forget about what the calendar says and to celebrate when you can. I can honestly say today that wiser words have never been spoken.