Straddle Jump

Time keeps marching on and no matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to stop it!!! 

I can still remember when the kids would play on the trampoline at Leah's house in Portsmouth and they restricted their tricks to the "butt bounce" due to personal safety concerns and coordination limitations. Annalise has been working very hard in dance recently to perfect her splits as well as her balance.  This trick shows you how very far she's come!

Lucy's 6th Birthday party, May 18, 2013, Valrico FL with Florida Prepatory School of Ballet (Ms. Yanna) team mates.

Coffee

I am always disappointed in myself for not updating my blog more often because I have so much darn fun when I go back to read it!  Here's another one I dug out.  I wrote this around Christmas, 2010 when John was in Qatar.  I think I had been struck with a case of the "Deployment Blues!"

December, 2010

A friend (a working mom) asked me this weekend, "Why don't you update your blog?" My response was, "I don't know. Honestly, I just don't have time these days." What I got back from her was, "What exactly do you DO during the day?" I felt my self righteousness flare up for a moment and then I realized that I didn't have an answer for her. I answered with a weak and defeated little admission, "I'm not sure..." Funny enough, that made me even madder than her obnoxious, irritating question did in the first place.

That exchange got to me. I was a working Mom, who thought she had it all under control, and then I "retired" this summer. While debating my decision to work or to eat bon bons, I read more articles than you can imagine about "working mom vs. stay at home mom" and I studied the pros/cons of both lifestyles. I felt a sense of pride when I read about how much a working mom does and I gloated when I read what a stay at home mom does because I thought I could do it so much better. I felt like I was in control of this decision and I very happily decided to stay at home with the kids.

As I was going through that life change, I was presented with an unexpected challenge. The simple fact is that it's all well and good until you throw a deployment into the mix! I'm not sure where to start on that one. I used to think I was better somehow. I thought that my positive attitude would get us through this with total grace and beauty. I was sure that other women dealing with deployments would look at me and say, "Wow! I wish I could do this as well as she does. I wonder what her secret is?" When the moods started to overtake me, I'd try the old secrets I had been given and I'd cry in the car, or I would go for a run, or I would take control of something and build a chalkboard wall in my hallway where we could have a countdown and cross off each day as it ended. They're all very good intentions, but the responsibility falls at my feet no matter what tricks I try.

With the somewhat pious question rolling around in my mind, "What do you DO all day?" I took a look at the major changes that have happened to me recently. No job, no husband. Well, crap. That's a bummer. But it's my bummer and I have to own it, learn it, face it and beat it.

To me it all comes down to coffee. When I was working, coffee meant a walk with friends and a time to regroup. Sometimes it was a walk by myself and a few minutes to think. Sometimes it was a chat with friends about a common issue. Today, when I drink a coffee, it means that there is a mess to clean up. My son is the sweetest, most helpful and wonderful child that the world has ever known. Since his dad has been gone, he's stepped up and tried to help wherever he can. He now makes the coffee in the morning and I love him for it. When I smell the coffee grinds floating upstairs from the kitchen, I groan because I know for certain that it's coming. He proudly brings me a cup of the bitter brew for which he's used about 17 times the normal ration of coffee grinds to make, informs me that he's spilled on the stairs, and that he only has a few drops of milk on the counter from when he was making it "just the way I like it."

In my professional life, I was a planner (yes, this is hilarious if you know me on a personal level). I was a Project Planner and then a Financial Planner. I isolated my variables, lived by the critical path, and I knew what had to get done in order for us to meet our deadlines. If there was a risk to our success, I had a plan to mitigate. In my mommy life, I am not good at planning and it drives me crazy! If I think have it under control, the phone will ring or someone will have a "spirit day" emergency at school (this morning I was told as they were getting dressed that they needed to dress in a way that represents another culture...whatever...). There is no plan and there is no set schedule because things constantly change. There is always an emergency that is completely crucial to their survival and I have to stop and fix it. When I think I have the kids under control, I find myself challenged by a massive bag of dog food that has to be carried upstairs while my kids clear the table and drop a glass bowl on the floor and they panic because the dog might try to lick up the broken bits of glass. Someone yells at a sibling and the victim of the abuse goes into hysterics while the aggressor wonders what they did to get in trouble when I come running downstairs trying to protect the child that has been wronged. On my flight downstairs, I see the trail of bitter coffee that I was accosted with this morning and I wonder when I'll have time to get the steam vac out to clean it up. After I've rescued all living beings from the glass on the floor, I mop up the spaghetti sauce and run upstairs to throw the towels in the laundry which is when I discover the clothes in the machine that I put in there this morning to plan for whatever spirit day idiocy I "thought ahead" about this morning. It's pure chaos. It's managing the lives and expectations of a 5 and an 8 year old. It's making sure that the mohawk cream doesn't glop up and make him look like he has dandruff or it's making sure that the tights she has on don't make her feel like a dork because everyone else wears different kinds. It's stuff that won't go down in the record books but it's important here and now.

I'm not sure what I do all day, but it's not nothing. I drink bitter coffee and enjoy the smile on my son's face when I manage to choke it down. I eat army green pancakes because the kids have made them for me and I comb through the lotion in my hair because the kids have given me a "massage" out of gratitude for the things I do for them. It's by no means a glamorous or even productive day today, but I life a very full life and people will finally know it when my children grow up to be productive and responsible members of our society.

Sardines

Annalise - Age 5

I just went through my email to clean out over 4000 messages of mostly JUNK that was bogging me down.  Lucky for me, I found this little gem...

*******************
March 21, 2011
From: Lisa Dolby
To: Lisa Dolby
Subject: You can show me where the sardine one is.

Message: Blank
*******************

...it took me about one second to remember what that one was about.

It was a warm (hot) spring day in Chula Vista and I was spending some time with Annalise while Justin was in school.  She was in Kindergarten, so she must have been on the early release schedule, and we had an hour or so until we had to go back to Salt Creek to pick up Justin who was in third grade.  We were running an errand and Annalise asked me for ice cream.  

I told her that ice cream is a treat, that we can't have it all the time because it's not healthy for us, and that we could only have it on special occasions.  We started talking about ice cream versus sherbert and I told her that I'd be open to the idea of going to the grocery store and bringing home some fruit sorbet.  This did not make her happy!  I remember that she did not throw a tantrum but looked heartbroken and it was so hard not to give in. Parenting is hard on the heart from time to time.

We went over to Vons (grocery store) and she had been thinking about the offer for a little while.  She was still just little enough that I could carry her, which I did often, so I remember that I was dreading how she felt like such a big girl holding on to my hand in the parking lot.  She asked me a few questions about random things and then sighed and told me, "Mommy, I've been thinking and I guess you can show me where the sardine one is."

Huh?

Translated:  She was ready to negotiate and was willing to consider my deal.  She wanted to know what the "sorbet" was all about.  One of our most serious rules is that our kids may not throw a tantrum to get what they want.  If they'll take a breath, calm down, and talk to us about it rationally, we're always willing to listen.  That day in the Vons parking lot, I was so impressed with her willingness to try "sardines" that I hugged her tight, told her I was proud of her for not having a fit even when she wanted to, and she won the negotiation.

We went to Cold Stone and enjoyed a little bit of the good stuff!

Spring Break 2013

  The Battle

Weapons Construction

The Picnic

The Guard Dog

Spring Break has arrived and I'm busy waging the battle against technology!  These kids are tricky!  We have four TV's in the house, one of which is 3D, and it's a race to get them all turned off before someone else finds a remote control.  We had a sleepover last night so I'm outnumbered 4 to 1 today.  I finally got everyone shuttled outside to ride their bikes but, 5 minutes later, someone came home with an injury.  I prescribed a few minutes of rest.  Unfortunately, I did not clarify that it was a non-technology aided rest.  Give me that tablet!  

Once they finally believed I was serious, they gave in and headed outside.  Much to their chagrin, I think they're having more fun than they thought possible.  We've had a war in the pool, a lawn picnic (with an epic tantrum as a side show), I've taught them to use power tools (which are required for authentic musket construction, as the boys say), and the most recent activity is building a "No Boys Allowed" fort in the garage.  The dog has even been allowed to join the fun.  From her leash.  Attached to the mail box.  She's not happy.

Wouldn't you know it, when everything was too quiet for my comfort, I looked over to find contraband...a pink DS had snuck into the fort! 

I happen to be sitting inside playing with technology right now so I better wrap it up.  I hear that I am needed for the completion of the weapon - we've moved on from muskets to automatic weapons and my saw skills are needed for the creation of a magazine.  I can't remember what we did all of those summer days in the backyard, but I can't imagine that I ever had this much imagination!  I'm sure I did...

MUCH LATER:

While I was writing, Justin was loading up his gear.  The fun one can have when forced is shocking!

"OPA COMMANDO STYLE"

Principal's Honor Roll

Report cards came out last week and Annalise did FANTASTIC!!!!  She got straight E's (which are A's when you get to third grade).  She's above level in reading and she is right where she needs to be in everything else.  She made it to Principal's Honor Roll which means she got perfect grades AND her citizenship was excellent.  John and I went to the awards ceremony and my favorite thing to see was that she was no longer "the new kid." It is clear to me that she's made friends, that she has plenty of fun, and that she feels completely comfortable in her new school.

I wrote an entry when she was about 2 years old that was called Angelface/Sassypants.  I think about that one quite often because it still fits her in every way. She's the sweetest little girl I have ever known, but she's clearly never going to be in danger of becoming a wall flower!  Her confidence and creativity amaze me every day and I'm often left wondering if that's really my kid!  One of my favorite quotes recently is about me.  When she says her prayers, she always adds "Thank you for my (insert adjective) Mommy!"  It's my favorite part of the day to see what she comes up with.  The other evening, she thanked God for "this compassionate yet stubborn Mom of mine" and I couldn't help but laugh right out loud!  When I asked what prompted that, she explained that I'm very kind and compassionate, which is good, but that I can be very stubborn when I've set my mind on "No" which she does not like.

Our girl is not only book smart.  She's pretty street smart too!  She's got that going for her, but don't think for a moment that she's perfect because all you need to do is look at her room to see that she's far from that.  She's a bit of a slob...to put it lightly.  We finally got her new room painted and her new bed put in there, which required a heavy dose of shoveling her "stuff" from side to side to make room.  We cleaned the whole room up and told her to keep it that way.  Much to my irritation, it took exactly one day to turn back into a complete disaster and I was at the end of my rope. Yelling was not working so John decided to try and outsmart her.  We got it cleaned up again the way I like it and he told her, "I bet you can't keep your room this clean for three days!" She said, "Bring it on!"  He bet her a dollar that she could not keep it neat (exactly as clean as it started) through that Thursday night.  Well, she won her dollar and John decided to see how far he could take it.  He said, "I'll bet you $2 that you can't keep it that way for a whole week..."  She said, "Nope.  Forget it.  Not worth $2." Her room is again a mess. 

Like I said, the girl is smart!

Superhuman Mom Tricks!

Justin's Top Right First Molar

(Orthodontia Included)

I was sitting at my desk, happily working away, when I heard Justin fall up the stairs.  Yes, up. It's a common issue for him these days since his feet are about 4 sizes bigger than his brain realizes.  I heard him say, "Oh Shoot!" Again, this is nothing out of the ordinary so I kept working and didn't acknowledge him.   

"Mom?"

sigh..."Ugh"..."What is it now?"..."I am WORKING..."

"I lost a tooth!"

I guess I'm going to have to deal with this one.

No big deal.  He's 10 and it's a molar so we're right on track.  The issue is that he has braces, the tooth has a bracket on it, we're "new" in town (translated: I have not gotten around to finding an orthodontist yet), and it's a Holiday Week.  My question is, "Exactly WHO is going to get the tooth out of his mouth that is currently hanging from his wire?"

Google to the rescue!

I called the first place on my trusty Google List, but nobody answered.  At the next place, I got a message saying they're at lunch.  On the third call, the message says they're on vacation but I can dial 9 for "true dental emergencies only!"  I'm not a patient, I wonder how much they will appreciate my particular emergency?  I dialed a fourth office and happened to get a very kind Floridian working in the lab who tells me that the doctor is on vacation. The answer is becoming very clear to me. 

I broke the news to Justin.  I was doing the surgery.  He laughed! I laughed!  Here we go!

We put Justin on the couch, he bit down so that the tooth would stop dangling from the wire and grossing me out, and I went to work with the big guns!  Who needs dental tools?  We accomplished the job with a set of tweezers, a paper clip, and a pair of cuticle scissors.  To his credit, Justin was extremely brave as I came at him with my implements while squirming childishly at the disgusting tooth.  He laughed, made a joke about being in a psychologist's office, and smiled big as I started the work!  A few minutes later, after much coaching and encouragement from my son, out came the tooth and he was rinsing the "affected area" with salt water.  The excitement has died down and he's now back upstairs playing basketball with his sister.

Another successful day at the Dolby House!!!!

Twas the night before Christmas...

 

Twas the night before Christmas...

One of my biggest worries whenever we move is how the kids will adjust to their new schools.  I feel bad for them when they say good-bye at the old school, I feel excited with them when they see their new house, and I feel the fear they feel on the first day at the new school.  

Both kids were scared this time around, even though they won't admit it.  Justin told me, "Mom, the worst thing about the first day is that you don't even have someone to ask where things are."  Annalise would say in her prayers at night, "...and I know I'll always be OK as long as I keep my friends in my heart to guide me..."  

My heart was especially sad for Annalise this time around because she left a community that she had grown up with.  Her kindergarten friends stuck with her through the years and she was leaving some girls that she really loves.  On her first day of school, I worried and waited for her to come home and tell me how it went.  I'm pleased to say that she did great!  She made a friend and she said she loved her teachers. As long as we're admitting things here, the truth is that I miss Salt Creek and my friends so I understand what they're feeling because I was nervous to start over too.

I got my first chance to come to school this week and see Annalise's class.  Justin asked me to give him some space now that he's in 5th Grade, which I happily respected, and I did not go to his Holiday Party.  Annalise, on the other hand, is still young enough to want to show me her school life.  

As you can see, Annalise has adjusted as we would expect - just fine!  She's brought her love of reading with her to Valrico and she's in love with school just the way she always has been.  She was sick this week so we all hoped that she would be able to do her Narrator part.  Her voice came back just in time and she did great!  Her classroom here is a team setting where they have two classrooms and two teachers to take advantage of.  It's amazing!  The room they are in is set up as their reading area and it stays this way all year long.  Their desks are in the other room where they do their desk work and they move between the rooms all day long.  Her teachers work together and make all of the kids work just a little harder because, as both of my kids have mentioned, they can't get away with anything since there's always a teacher walking around.

We're still wearing Salt Creek shirts to school but I think we all feel comfortable now as Valrico Explorers!