A weekend in Naples

As it should be - My kids with their Daddy!!!!

The kids studying butterfly life cycles together not 30 minutes after screaming at each other (full volume, full hatred) in the car over the invisible "line" down the middle of the backseat.

Justin helping Annalise pump water so that she could water the plants at "Their House"

The kids playing "House" at the Children's Park.

Annalise and her Daddy at Doc's enjoying fried clams.

Justin and John playing at lunch on our way to the airport.

John and I leaving Cloyd's Restaurant. The menu included steak, lobster, and a delicious bottle of red. A very sweet, OLD man took the picture for us as he waited for his car.

Our weekend spent in Naples with Nana and Papa was, in one word, PERFECT!

It all began with some minor chaos at the airport. John was coming to get us, but he got stuck in traffic so Nana and Papa came to get us instead. When the kids saw them they took off running and yelling, "Nana!!! Papa!!!" for a full 30 yards before throwing themselves into a bear hug with whichever grandparent was closest. It was very touching and the rest of the grandparents waiting in the Fort Myers airport clearly began to dream of having a similar moment with their own grandchildren.

We drove to a restaurant to meet John and when he got there the kids buried him in hugs and kisses before he could even get in the door. I, smart as I am, completely blew him off. It was a strange feeling because I realized at the time that I was doing it, but I couldn't help it! I was in some kind of defensive mode where my heart was telling me that I didn't need him because he was gone and I couldn't overcome it. My husband has a gift for being able to read my moods - he gave me a hug and didn't get offended when I gave him a courtesy pat on the back, kiss on the cheek, and a very trite little "How are you?" It was odd because I knew he was there, but at the same time, I could feel that my heart wasn't ready to accept that he was really with us again. I've done deployments before and I did them successfully because I got my heart ready. This whole concept of having him close enough to visit is quite strange for me. John's patient persistence paid off and I eventually got over myself in time for us to spend a wonderful weekend together.

Friday started with John and Papa on the golf course. Nana and I took the kids to the Botanical Gardens and the kids played very happily in the children's park until about noon. The greatest part of this day was seeing Justin and Annalise transition from absolutely hating each other in the car (they were fighting over "the line" in the middle of the backseat that neither one could cross but both did), to loving the heck out of each other in the park. At one point, Annalise needed help getting water from the pump and did not allow one of the volunteers to help her. She said very boldly, "No - I need my brother to help me." Later, Justin was defending his castle in a wooden fort and yelled "Annalise! Batten down the hatches!" She answered that she couldn't do it because she was making a pie (with sand) and that she would do it in a moment. He said, "OK, I'll wait for you." ...and he did...

After a long morning at the Children's Park, some wonderful fried food at Doc's Beach House was in order before we headed back to Nana and Papa's place for a nap (Annalise and Mom) and some serious pool time (Justin and Dad). When I asked Justin later what his favorite part of the weekend was, he told me about how he and his Dad played wrestling games in the pool and how that was his favorite part.

Saturday was a perfect pool day! Disclaimer: It was "perfect" in the way that you could stay nice and warm only if you kept yourself completely immersed in the heated pool or by laying flat on the pool chair so that the sun could warm you while you hid below the range of the wind. We went down, braved the elements (Nana did this by layering herself Under Armour, three layers of shirts, and a jacket!), and came out of the day with minor sunburns and a great day of memories. I had fun playing "swim lessons" with Justin where he taught me how to swim. He was a great teacher and he always used phrases like, "Let's talk about what we learned in that exercise" or "How do you think you did with that practice lap?" His swim teacher would have been proud! He even taught me about the Dead Man's Float by explaining that someone has survived for 1 day and 6 hours without getting tired by using this technique. He asked me, "How many hours is one day and six hours?" When I answered correctly, he said, "Good Job! That's right! See how it can help you save energy?"

Nana took care of us the entire time by cooking, cleaning, babysitting, filling our wine glasses, and even bringing blankets to the patio so that we could read in the afternoons. John and I went to dinner one night at the restaurant down the street and we were able to spend a whole evening talking and catching up before we stumbled home after even more wine. I went for a run along Park Shore Drive, which is one of my most treasured places in the world to run. The kids wrestled and snuggled their Dad and he helped them to understand that he's still their Daddy no matter what. I have seen a peace come over them since we've been home and it makes me feel very good.

My mom was graceful in her selflessness this weekend. I didn't know when we arrived that she was facing some difficult times of her own and I didn't know until after we left how troubled she was the entire weekend. She never let a moment of stress show as she took care of us and supported us in our efforts to spend time together as a family of four. She brought food and snacks to us at the pool, stayed quietly out of the way, listened when we wanted her to, and spoiled the kids every moment she had. Before we left, she sent us on a walk on the beach and the four of us spent an hour being as happy as we could possibly be. I've often seen families that look irritatingly perfect and happy. My first reaction is to assume that they look that way only because they are hiding a secret, painful life before I resent them because they can pull off the facade. Normally, when I see one of these families, I'll feel jealous and quickly yell at my own grubby little children for being less than perfect and elbow my dear husband so that he knows he's not doing things the "right" (a.k.a. "my") way, because if he would, our family would be perfect too. Funny enough, we joined the club this weekend. We walked on the beach and the kids were perfect. The sun was shining and our outfits matched as John and I strolled in the sand behind our perfectly behaved children. We were as happy as four people can be for about an hour. Just as I suspected with those other "perfect" families, we were hiding a little bit of turmoil. We knew "Good-Bye" was coming and we were smart enough to treasure every last moment. It was a wonderful hour and a wonderful walk on the beach. We commented that it would have been nice to have had a camera but that it may have ruined the experience as we tried so hard for images to photograph.

When John dropped us off I could tell that the kids felt happy. They waved to their Dad at the airport, babbled about our trip to anyone who would listen, and told me that they couldn't wait until they could see their Dad again. They seemed to let go of the anger/resentment/fear that they had been holding on to and they returned to being happy and confident children overnight. Since we've been home, they've been incredible! I think they understand now that it's all going to be OK. We have a tough job of "balance" ahead of us as we work to help sell the house we are living in, look forward to moving "home", enjoy every minute of our time here, and remember every day that we are a very happy family no matter what geography says. I think we can do it...